day two of something new

waste not.
not a grain of rice should be forgotten.

I would say I am fairly good at cleaning my plate.
I have even been known to lick it clean to the dismay
of those with whom i am eating. however, i think i am gaining
a far greater appreciation for eating every morsel.
and, i have never been so meticulous in peeling a carrot.

I am also a fairly picky banana eater. gag reflexes you know.
well, its about the cheapest thing here and if it is mushy and sweet
like it was today than so be it. i was hungry.

here's the line up:

1/2 cup oats
1 orange

3/4 cup brown rice
1/4 tomato
1 pearl onion
1/2 pepper

1 banana

1/2 carrot

3/4 cup brown rice
3/4 cup red beans
1 pearl onion

day 1

To my advantage, I typically fast on Sundays for prayer and reflection so my dollar stretches even further.Chaching!
I broke the fast at dinner time with:

1 cup brown rice
1/4 tomato
1 pearl onion
1/2 a pepper

Here's the interesting part that I never would have thought of: Spices definitely did not
fit in the budget. I snuck a t-tiny bit of salt from the kitchen though. I will pretend that
I live near the sea and have free access to this commodity)

I brushed my teeth so I wouldn't be tempted to cheat.
Toothpaste. a novelty.

dollar a day experiment

This week I have created a small simulation activity for myself. I want to know what it is like to live on a dollar a day. In NO way do I think that I am truly living this life in full solidarity with the people who find this to be their livelihood. After all, I have a kitchen to use, clean clothes and a roof over my head. That is certainly not the case for all. But I am very curious to see how far money goes in buying foods and if it is possible to achieve any resemblance of a nutritious diet on such a limited resource. I will track each day and explain what I ate.

To the market....

I will admit that it was quite a frustrating and humbling trip to the market! I went yesterday to prepare for the week. I spent six of my seven dollars (or 3500 colonnes) and came up with very little to show for myself. However, I did my best to pick the fresh foods and the whole grains. Every Saturday there is a market here so I wanted to stock up on these local foods that will probably be the most nourishing and least expensive. One of the tough parts was not having enough to buy in larger quantities which the majority of vendors preferred. The only protein I could afford was a very small bag of beans. I could not even spare the money to buy a loaf of bread. I think that was the thing that sunk in the most! Kind of makes me hear a bit more fervor in the supplication gave us this day our daily bread

Space

I am not sure what cardinal sin it is to move to Costa Rica and not like coffee. But, in just a few days here I have come to appreciate the plant and beans in a way far more meaningful to me than a mere cup of joe; more simply, I have come to really know coffee. To me, prayer is a space- a space to engage God and be in community with creation. I find myself in constant search of a physical space to encounter this metaphysical space. We'll call it a labrynth. But not simply a maze or a garden designated for prayer-- a place amidst the creation that allows my heart and mind to wander. A space where I can become lost in thought and conversation while remaining mindless to the path before me or the direction of my footsteps. I have discovered that my home here rests on the perimeter of a finca ('little farm') consisting of endless rows of coffee plants. As I wander among these stocky green bushes, teeming with red and black buds just aching to provide the world with a vehicle for awareness, energy and good conversation, I realize that I, myself, can relish in the stimulant effects and mindless familiarity that this plant provides.
So, why is it that it takes a significant transition in my life, a foreign destination perhaps, to push me towards 'space seeking' in search of labrynths and the hands of God? Is it only here, away from the self I know, that I will allow myself the grace to slow down, breathe in, and seek mindfulness for each moment?
over coffee mugs or wandering in fields of coffee.
may we all seek and find space.

Greetings to those who are so gracious to travel alongside me in my journey through life.
I wanted to begin writing again and I am here in Costa Rica experiencing another
slice of creation. I wanted to preserve my reflections from India so I decided
to continue on the same blog. Many blessings and thank you.

my reflections

I am fairly certain that I have only just begun to process my year here in Kerala. But perhaps, that relates to one lesson that I have learned—that the quality of raw food is superior to that of processed ones and that the caliber of handmade, homespun, self-financed goods cannot be replaced by the manufactured ones. Likewise, maybe my initial, raw thoughts and emotions will be more compelling than the thoughts I will take years to process. In fact, I even wonder if we lose some of the heartfelt vigor and ingenuous curiosity when we mull over something for far too long. So here they are, my experiences— honest and unrefined.

Before this year, I really had no concept of just how influential our lives and decisions in America affect countries like India. It is not only corporate America or the policy makers that create impacts, but also each of us as consumers and global citizens. In college I tried to stay informed on global issues, but here, I felt I have lived amongst the issues. It is my neighbors that don’t have enough to eat, who are landless, and who are denied their basic rights. It is tough to realize that your own nation, claiming to be “developed,” has practices and policies that dictate the “development” of other countries.
I have learned that generalizations are useless and quite often, completely off the mark. Just as each state in India varies in culture, food, dress, environment and language, each person is different from the next. I have been, at times, shocked by the many generalizations that have been made about my home or me and this has allowed for self-awareness regarding the generalizations that I make about others.

In Kerala, I have found a new concept of hospitality. I have been welcomed “in” again and again—hosted by friends, families, and complete strangers. I have been made to be like a family member at marriages. I have been served countless cups of tea and been showed off to everyone’s neighbors. More than food and functions, I have consistently found grace in others-- when I fumble with my very few Malayalam words or have my churidar top tucked into my pants, when my hairstyle is wrong or I am clueless to what is going on, when I have too much pride to ask for directions or help I have found friends who will take me as I am, genuinely interested in my life. I hope that I can take this with me and learn to be a gracious host and an ever-grateful guest.

Yet, while I want to be a grateful guest, I have also realized the need to feel as an integrated part of a community. At times, it has been a challenge to find the balance of being a part of a culture and observing all that that entails without losing your own identity or compromising what you hold true. But in seeking this balance, I have encountered many revelations about my world, my faith, and myself and been given the opportunity to more solidly form my own identity and the truths that I claim.

Most importantly, my year has been shaped and hugely impacted by a deeper understanding of Jesus’ radical ministry. My worldview has been shifted by find the Jesus who engages in social justice. I found that I have detached Jesus from social justice compartmentalizing the two into different passions of mine. But now I see that Jesus represents justice, equality and a kingdom that is unlike any political empire that has ever existed. As we have delved into the marginalized people that Jesus restores, I am discovering the variety of the marginalized in my own community here. These people are not only the poor, the sick, the different, but also the neglected, the women, the children. And, it was these very people that Jesus made the center of His ministry while using signs to point to larger social issues.

Contrast

I know I will be asked to describe India. How was it? What is it like? I already hear the questions looming.

To capture a year of experiences, a life lived in a new place is a challenge in itself. But, trying to capture a whole counrty and hundreds of years of history and civilization by describing a year in one tiny corner of the country will be defeating. All I can offer is my own limited experiences, albeit fulfilling and life-enriching ones.

I might attempt to depict India as a land of extremes. The striking sun clashing with the pounding rains. Arguably one of the most ecologically prized landscapes, dotted with piles of waste. An elephant working beside a bulldozer. A bullock cart beside a Land Cruiser. Never have I seen the juxtaposition between the haves and have-nots so strikingly obvious. The highest and the lowest placed one next to the other. Where neighbors coexist with great dichotomy—a grand estate flanked by a tiny colony of umbrella dwellers. Here, you will find hospitality like you’ve never seen. Simultaneously, a class system pervades the social structure and, albeit a Hindu construct, continues to dictate the underpinnings of the Church.

Contrasts. A concrete one room house with dirt floors and a family hovered around a television. Emaciated and corpulent. No scraps wasted; no scraps used. The same stick used by the same teacher to both hit a child and also affectionately tease a child.

Contradictions. Watching a highly educated and established woman belittled and berated by her husband. Seeing a family home broken apart in order to provide for the demands for a daughter's new family. Finding a place that is legendary for its natural health therapies suddenly inundated with imported processed foods. The politics and culture of an infant country (such as America) influencing the very livelihood of the people in a country with such an ancient and rich heritage (such as India).

Interestingly, one of the greatest contrasts I have learned in the year is the perception of my country and that that is my country. Stepping into a new place, you learn about your own. You learn that no country has it perfect. No country has it right. No country has the authority to dominate another. And, no country or people can be generalized or described in a matter of words.