“LOST IN TRANSLATION”

My friend Laura and I are sitting around a table with 5 amachees (grandmothers) at a retirement home testing out our Malayalm skills. There are two stones in the middle of the table. We struggle for what seems like minutes to get the correct verb and tense and ask if the stones are for a game that these ladies play. Then, in a very matter of fact sort of way one of the women says, “Paper weights.” Oh, right.

As one who revels in awkward moments, let me tell you I think I have found my utopia. I cannot keep track of the amount of “awkward” moments that I have encountered since arriving in India inevitably revolving around a cultural faux pas that I have unknowingly committed or a feeble attempt on my part to communicate in my very limited knowledge of Malayalam. I am grateful for those who try to talk with me in English, and probably even more thankful for the ones that will patiently sit and listen to me as I say the banana 7 times in Malayalam and still get it wrong. And I have found that increasing the speed or volume of the pronunciation in no way clarifies the situation. Even better are the times when I proudly say, “I am going to church.” “Nyan palaeel pogunnu.” When the laughing subsides, I am informed that in actuality, I proclaimed, “I am going to lizard.” “Nyan palaaeel pogunnu.” I just don’t think my tongue works quite in the same way. Other times, I will be talking with someone in English and ask a question. I am given an answer that has nothing to do with my question. Interesting. So, I have determined that I must pretend like this was the information I was seeking and later, re-work a revised question into the conversation. Questions are answered that were never even asked.